


Mementos

by Ischa



Category: Batman (Comics)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Dark, Disturbing Themes, M/M, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-05
Updated: 2013-06-05
Packaged: 2017-12-14 01:46:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/831294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ischa/pseuds/Ischa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Dick and Jason have issues and fuck. </p>
<p>
  <i>“I have marks and bruises, matching your fingertips and teeth that prove I am here, that I was here before.” Because they have been here before. It’s a vicious fucking circle. They meet, they fight, they fuck, they leave, and they meet again. Rinse and repeat at will.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mementos

**Author's Note:**

> Mild spoilers for 'The Black Mirror'.   
> Title by Icalynn, also beta. <3

Dick knows he’s been a shitty big brother to Jason, when he had still been Robin. That might be why he’s trying so damn hard with Tim. But it doesn’t change the fact that he had messed up and had had no chance to make good on it either, after Jason had died, had been murdered.  
It’s different now.   
With Jason being alive, and killing people in Batman’s city.  
Dick thinks he’s moved on, but…seeing Jason. Again and again and again.  
And seeing the crowbar Jason had been beaten to death with.  
Dick stares into the mirror, not recognizing his own reflection. He’s messed up and he knows it.  
But then so is Jason.  
   
~+~  
It’s always a fight. Pushing, pulling, dragging, biting, kicking, and screaming at each other until their lips smash together, their backs crashing against the nearest surface that can hold them up as they ravage each other.   
Tearing and drawing blood is not uncommon either.  
Dick likes when Jason bites into his shoulder. He arches into it, relishing the sensation of teeth, saliva, and the brush of soft lips against his skin.  
Dick pushes back and possesses Jason’s mouth, he tastes blood, not his own. Jason’s been in a fight and someone had gotten lucky and had busted Jason’s lip before Dick had the chance to do it. Jason always finds Dick after a fight. He’s always angry, ready to strike, ready to kill.  
Jason pulls him closer. Pressing his dick against Dick’s thigh. He’s stronger than Dick, bigger too, and he’s learned a lot of dirty moves since he’s been gone.  
He had only been a kid when he had died, but he’s not anymore. Neither is Dick and he isn’t jealous anymore either. Not of Jason…even if Jason still holds so much of Bruce’s attention.  
But Bruce has never seen Jason like this: arching into every one of Dick’s touches. Dick loves sex, he’s good at it too. He knows how to make people feel good. Knows what they want. And maybe this is all that this is for Jason: a way to get off spectacularly.  
Maybe, it’s Dick’s messed up way of trying to be the brother Jason needs, because he couldn’t be the one Jason had needed all those years ago. Had not wanted to be.  
Jason bites Dick’s lip, hard, jarring him from his thoughts. 

“Fuck!” Dick hisses, shoving at him, so Jason’s head bangs against the wall.

Jason licks his lips. “You weren’t here, Big Bird.”

“I have marks and bruises, matching your fingertips and teeth that prove I am here, that I was here before.” Because they have been here before. It’s a vicious fucking circle. They meet, they fight, they fuck, they leave, and they meet again. Rinse and repeat at will.

“What does daddy think about my marks on you?” Jason asks, leaning his head against the wall.

“What does it matter?” Dick has no illusions that Bruce doesn’t know. Bruce knows fucking everything.  
Jason shrugs.  
“I’m here for you,” Dick wants to say, and realizes a second later that he did. Fuck, he’s so tired.

“Is he hoping, you can bring me back to the fold? With that pretty, pretty body of yours?”

Dick wants to punch him for that, but his fist lands just millimeters from Jason’s face. It hurts like hell. His knuckles are scraped and he knows Alfred will give him that look. Is it worth it? Dick wonders.  
“Do you want that?” Dick asks instead.

“Fuck no,” Jason answers with a laugh, but it sounds like it’s been ripped out of him and should have been another sound entirely. He grabs Dick lightning fast and smashes their lips together again.  
It’s better. So much better when they don’t use words.  
   
~+~  
There are moments when they’re spent and lying beside each other in utter silence. Dick feels content, but then Jason shifts and gets up and he’s gone before Dick can say or do anything. He doesn’t even know what he would say or do.  
He can count the seconds by the way the sweat on his skin cools.

“I saw the crowbar,” Dick says, his eyes fixed on a point on the water stained ceiling.

He feels Jason go rigid beside him. His breath is – not there. He doesn’t breathe for a few seconds. “Does he keep it as a memento?” Jason asks.

Dick isn’t sure if he means Batman or the Joker. But the Joker doesn’t need mementos. They don’t mean anything to him. “No.”

“What did you do with it?”

“Alfred brought it home. I told him to get rid of it,” he answers, but he had gone back for it. He’s kept it. He, it seems, he needs mementos and the bruises on his skin aren’t enough. Will never be enough.

“It’s not your fault, or his, that I died.” Jason says into the silence.

Minutes, Dick thinks. Minutes and they’re still here. Minutes like days, like years.  
“I know,” Dick replies. He wants to grab Jason’s hand and squeeze it. He wants to kiss the top of his head, but Jason isn’t a kid anymore and Dick has lost that chance years ago.  

“Stop trying then,” Jason says.

“What?” Because Dick is not sure what they’re talking about.

“To right his wrongs. It’s not about that.”

Dick can feel Jason making the decision to get up and he grabs him, turns them so that he’s pining Jason down. All that naked flesh, that gorgeous naked body and Dick doesn’t care, because there is something in Jason’s eyes – fast and desperate and gone already, but he’s seen it. It’s there under all the other (protective) layers.  
And Dick kisses him, soft and gentle, and like he wants to kiss Jason every time they see each other. His lip stings where Jason bit him, but he doesn’t care.  
Jason doesn’t respond, but then Dick doesn’t think he would. This is not a playing field he knows. It’s uncharted theory. Needs to be investigated first. From afar. He’s as unresponsive as a corpse Dick thinks, and he rears back. He sits up, running a hand through his messy hair. “I…”

“You kept it,” Jason interrupts. “You kept that fucking crowbar I was beaten to death with.”

Dick has no idea how he knows, but then he had been Robin, he is Red Hood now. He has been trained better than any of them. The only reason he doesn’t beat Batman is, because Jason doesn’t want to. Can’t. Whatever.  
Dick nods and Jason grabs him by his neck and drags him down, not gentle, but firm, and kisses him. And Dick doesn’t know why, why this is important, why this is a good thing, why Jason cares about it – why he himself cares about it, but they do.  
And then he’s on his back again and Jason pushes inside him, hard and fast, and Dick can’t fucking breathe, but he lets Jason fuck him anyway. Slings his legs around Jason’s middle, arches up against him when Jason hits just the right spot, at just the right angle and speed.  
Jason’s trapped inside him and he is trapped in Jason and …and it doesn’t matter, because neither of them wants to do anything about it.  
Dick bites his tender lip when he comes, feeling Jason’s fingers tighten around his wrist, feels the bruises forming on his skin.  
Constant fucking reminders of who they are, and who they aren’t, and maybe who they had never been meant to be.  
Or maybe what, and who they had meant to be had been stolen from them.  
By Bruce.

“He didn’t save us, Dick,” Jason whispers in his ear. “He didn’t save us.”  

Dick wants to say that Bruce had tried and that it hasn’t always been bad, but Jason is right: Batman hadn’t saved them and Bruce isn’t even a real person most of the time.  
“I know,” he says and he sounds utterly defeated even to his own ears.

Jason kisses his forehead then. “And that’s why we fight and fuck and destroy ourselves in the process.” He gets up and Dick lets him.

Jason’s going to find him before the bruises from tonight are faded, or he will find Jason. The cycle will continue, it always does.


End file.
